Something as simple as a phone call not recieved is literally tearing me apart. All i want is this to work out, but it doesnt seem like its going to. Im at the verge of tears everyday, and all i want to do is drink/smoke away any emtion that i have because its too much to handle this. I feel sick to my stomach and ive barely eaten in the past three days.. How much longer can i keep pretending like everything is okay... like im okay before breaking down and freaking out. Hes nothing special, he isnt rich, the last month ive hardly seen him, but i love him so much... so much. He doesnt even know, or unedrstand how much this hurts me right now. No, actually hes probaly fine. but here i am in a billion peices over it. Why does this hurt so much? Why.