im so blank. Its like ive been swallowed by this black hole, and as some things get better i can only see the bad. I want to be this amazingly strong and self cofidant person that other people can look up to all while following my heart. I cant pull it out of me. It feels like forever since i was with you. It feels like im never going to have anything close to what i had with you with anyone ever again. I miss you so much, and at night it gets to me the most. Id wake up happy to talk to you and see you, but now it feels like the sunshine was ripped from my life. The funniest part? Your not anything special, you are the average guy, but to me you were everything. and now with all this - everything i know, everything, i feel like even if we decieded to give it anthor shot it wouldnt be the same. i wouldnt be the same. Im so angry and pained, and even alittle regretful. Nothing could be he same. I live in a fairy tale i guess. reality is something i cant handle. its cold and hard leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. reality is for the insane. im bound to make a mistake. im bound to fuck everything up. If its not broken yet it will be. im devoured. im used. im dying. nothing right in a blackened world. wont i find light?