It feels like a long time scince i made an entry but its only been 6 days lol. My b day is in four. Ill be twenty. Im kinda feeling old. Lol. Ehh.. Thats okay.. My bf is turning 27 in ten days lol. Im not as old as him hahaha. So what am i feeling lately? Well.. I told my friend last night i missed being single, but it came out wrong. I wouldnt dump my bf, i do love him. I hope thats clear. But there are times i miss the wild and uninhibited me. The chick that every other girl hated and All the guys loved. (not in a romantic way) I used to be nuts. I think alot of my problem is that i cant let go of the past and live in my present. I think I just miss the memories not the actual acts of what it was that i was doing. Or maybe im just getting bored. day in and day out its the same thing all the time. Theres nothing diffrent. Its a part of growing up - i know. But everythings just kinda lame now. I need an extra bit of umpff. I wonder if im capable of withstanding a long lasting relationship. I want to get married to him and i cant really picture myself without him, but everytime around this time i start to run away with my tail between my legs. Am i scared of comittment? Or am i Just not supose to get married. (or for that fact stay in long relationships) Its so funny when i was a kid i was in such a rush to grow up, and now that im grown, im in panic that i lost my childhood. I think i use this diary like a person would a psycologist. Hah. ANYWAY.. On the agenda today: Clean room Go threw my clothes Figure out something to do with myself Call D&D