Im fucking sick. I fucking never get sick. Man shit. . i hate this. I feel like shit and a half. I think i have strepp throat. . heh heh. . i dont know how i got it bc i have not been around any one with it, but i am highly contageous so you should be afraid. Blah. The other day at my school we had this theme day thing. . well, the sophomore class had the theme "halloween". I went as "anti-social" which i shortly thereafter realized is not a change from my usual self. I think the fact that i was wearing the same clothes that i wear everyday kinda caused this epiphany. I dont want to be that chick at school that noone really knows and noone would notice if she disappeared randomly. I mean, yeah, i have alot of friends at my school, and the majority of the people in high school know who i am, even though they know me, it doesnt mean they care. And then i found myself asking that same damn question that i get so mad at my friends for asking. That infamous "If I died, how many people would actually come to my funeral?" I hate that question. It completely burdens my existance. I think that is mainly because i am so extremely terrified of the answer. I really dont think i want to know the answer to this. It scares me so much. Which also shows that i am completely insecure about who my real friends are. Especially this one girl. I love her soooo much. She is one of my best friends. But i feel like to her, i am really easily replaced. This is never a good feeling. But i guess thats life huh? ah well. . whatever. . im gonna go revel in the fact that i dont have to go to school for the next like 2 weeks.. . evn though ill be bed-ridden the whole time. . lol.