Things are so weird as of late. I dont even know where to begin. Today was . . . emotional. I dunno, i had to help my mom out with some guy stuff, and while i was advising her, i realized that i am a hypocrit. I told her what she needed to do, and these things are exactly what i have been so afraid of for the past few weeks. Just. . .to let go. I'm scared to let go, but i know that i have to. I know that i cant be happy like this. And i think that i somewhat already have let go. . . not bc i wanted to, but bc i was, once again, forced to. Things happen, and they cant always be the way we want. This is something i have had to learn the hard way, and continue to discover everyday of my life. But i dont really think there IS an easy way to learn about anything love related. My mom always tells me that im not a stupid girl, and that she doesnt want me to make the same mistakes that she did, but i think that it is inevitable. I dunno. . . i keep searching for someone to fill the void. That terrible place in my heart that doesnt seem like it will ever be complete. I know i have plenty time to find it, or at least i hope i do. . . I also have to remember to keep an open mind. And to stop falling for the wrong ones. Bc thats never a good thing. It almost seems like once one goes away, a new one comes in and almost instantly steals my heart. Each time differently than the previous, but i have a feeling that the current flame ( which is slowly flickering out, but cant completely be extinguished) will be the comparison for all those to come. Because he truly was amazing, and i dont want anything less. I know that I need to learn for myself. I am greatful for everything that i have endured that has not completely broken me. Because most things are repairable. Just takes a little patience, and maybe some duct tape.