Yeah. . today suuucked. I miss my mila. She hasnt been at school for two days, and it feels like a million years. . . I got a chance to talk to my other best friend, caroline, today, and i feel a little bit more relieved because of this. We talked about like evrything, bc we are supposed to have chorus 6th period, but we dont go to it, so we go chill in her car and have like these heart-to-hearts every week. I always feel alot better about shit after i talk to someone, especially mica and liney. So we talked about her boyfriend, and my crush-thingy, and i pretty much like spilled everything to her, i almost cried. But she helped alot, and surprisingly, she understood it all, and could relate to alot of it, which is weird bc not one person that i have talked to so far really understands what im going through. . not completely anyway... I figured some stuff out...like part of the reason that i have been so depressed lately... and what it is i can do to fix it...but i dont think i can do it on my own...after the shit that happened this weekend, i know that all of our lives are a little bit messed up right now, some more than others, but i just really need my friends to be there for me...i dont wanna sound selfish or anything, but its true. I need them now. more than anything. I still have alot more to figure out, and i hope i can do it. . . but i dunno. oh, and i have decided that i am the BIGGEST douchebag in the world, but ill make a private one explaining that. haha!