I am going to church in a little while. Strange huh? I always feel so much better after i go to church. It gives me a clean feeling, like an amazing weight has been taken off of my shoulders. I need that right now. I am beginning to feel shitty about stuff again. I dont think i am there for my friends enough. I try to be, but lately i have become so consumed with my own issues, that it has left people high and dry, and i hate doing that. I hate it when my friends do that to me, and i dont want to do it to them. I still miss him, and as much as i desperately want to talk about that right now, i wont. Bc i know it will just make me miss him even more, and then i will cry. And i dont want to cry. Hes online. I dont think i have ever wanted to IM someone so badly in my life. lol But im not going there... So, yeah, i need to be there more. My list of things to do... 1. Stop being so selfish 2. Stop being a fucking poon and just IM him!!! 3. Clean my room. that list is sooo not getting done today.