Well, today hasn't been a good day at all. I feel so much more depressed than I have. I dont understand why some things happen!!! If you do something to deserve bad things it's bad enough thatyouhave to deal with your consequences...but when you REALLY did NOT do anything and still receive the consequences...that really stings. Like really I just want to curl up all by myself and stay that way. That way maybe I wouldn't carry "conflict & grief" everywhere with me. The only good thing is that being so upset did help me to go to my Dads grave which I have wanted to go to for 3 months but couldn't make myself do it. I needed to talk to someone and the first thing I did was grab the keys and go to the cemetery and just sat in the grass by his grave crying. I wish that his arms were here to comfort me from all this pain I am feeling. They were always so warm & loving!I left there and went to visit Mary since she lives about 5 minutes away from it. Then I dropped off Sara's school stuff to her and came home and here I am...feeling like crap. OH well.