Welllll...yesterday wasn't real exciting, but it was an ok day. I worked and then went to pick up Marci and we walked our 2 miles. It was so hot outside...but it was actually sunny! I dropped her off and then went to the cemetary to visit Dad's grave. I havn't been since his birthday (May 26th). I was glad to see that other people have been stopping by there and havn't forgotten about him, unlike some people I know of. There were 3 flower bouquets, a beautiful garden flag that had a picture of a bird flying over an orange sunset ocean and says "Those who truly live, still shine on" or something realy close to that. There was also a glass cross (the ones that Darrell bought us all for Christmas) so I dunno who all put that stuff there, but I was glad it was there. I wish I had the money to buy him a headstone, I dont know who is working on that or how it is coming along...but I need to find out, b/c if noone is doing anything about ti right now I will start saving up myself...dont know how long it will take me, but I will. I of course got all sad and cried. That is why I hate going...I WANT to go SO much and NEED to but it always tears me up! Those feelings start coming back and it makes me see him real sick in the hospital not able to breathe or communicate with people...it reminds me of the moment he took his last breath...and everything like an opened gate becomes unleashed and just starts FLOODING out. And then I start questioning God's reason which is BAD...I know God had a plan for Daddy and now Daddy is in Heaven with Him HAPPIER & MORE FREE than he ever was...but I am selfish, and want him back here with me. It seems like only yesterday that Daddy called me on the phone to tell me that his surgery was the next day to please come...I hurried off the phone with him not knowing that would be the last conversation I had with my ACTUAL Daddy...without him being on medicine and not being himself. I dont know why I didnt take that surgery more serious~ I knew it was to find out if the spots on his lungs wer cancerous or not...maybe I just didnt want to believe...and even I did~ how was I to know that the horrible sickness would end his life w/out even 2 weeks notice. =( Then of course it makes me remember when he was alive and how he would always brag about me to his friends, hug on me, love on me, act silly with me like I was still his little girl. =) He was my stronghold...and now he is gone for the rest of my earthly life. Gosh there I go again rambling. I know that's what journals are for...but then I remember "oh yea...people read this!" lol. Oh well. ANyways- I left the cemetary and went home. I didnt do a whole lot last night. I watched some of "Back to the Future" and got online and me & Sara went to eat but that's pretty much it! I talked to Paula on the phone and she is going with me to Jenni'stoday I think to look at pre-yardsale baby clothes that were Jillians. So if Paula sees anything she wants for her babygirl she can get it upfront. Jillian had the cutest clothes in the world. Some of them which I bought! lol. Well anyways- I will let ya know what happens! Later!