Well today is my 23rd birthday. I havn't written much this week b/c well there's not been much to write about! Plus I havnt felt like writing. I was sick basically all week so I didnt get out hardly at all. I did however Friday night get out and go apply at some jobs (one at which I have an interview for on Thursday) and me & Stephanie went out to West Town and then rode around looking for her some apartments. She pulled into the apts. to drop me off at 11:00 and we ended up talking in her car until about 1:30 am. Then yesterday was Saturday. The only thing I did was go to Paulas house. I went over there around 8:00 pm and we went to Arbys to eat and then she gave me my birthday presents. She got me a pair of navyblue fleece pants with "Goodluck Bear" Carebear in the top left corner of them..OMG I LOVE THEM! THey are soo cute and very comfy! They are my favorite pants now haha. Then she of course got me the traditional pair of "JC Penney" Panties that we get EVERY year since we worked together there in lingerie. Id say probably half the panties I own are from her and vice versa. lol. After I left I started thinkging about things & feeling really sad so I called Leslie to see if she cared to drive around wiht me to help me get my mind of things and since UNDERSTANDS exactly how I feel when it comes to that she was like "I'll be there in 2 seconds". She is such an awesome friend. So we drove around for about an hour or so. Then today I slept til 11:30. I went to Rachels at 2:30 for my birthday. She made "the cake" I emailed to her from some wedding site like 6 months ago haha and told her how cute it was. Anyways..she rememberd it and MADE IT FOR MY BIRTHDAY. It isnt EXACTLY like it..but its very similar. I was soo happy. It was very pretty. SHe did the hotpink & lime green icing on 3 differnet layers with pretty designs all over it. I was honored that she went to all that trouble for me. Not to mention she got me some "warm vanilla sugar" hand cream from B&B works (that is my favorite smell there besides the sweet cinnamon pumpkin) and she got me the candle of it too! We took pictures and she showed me her new furniture and all her Christmas decorations and then I left. When I got home Jimmy, Sherry, Shawn, and Lester were here and mom had gotten me a storebought birthday cake (chocolate just for me haha) and a present. So they sang happy birthday to me and I blew out ALL 23 of my candles haha and then I made my wish and we had cake. I opened my present. It was the DVD of "Mean Girls" which isnt something I really wanted ...but its a cute movie....I saw it twice in theatres. But I am very grateful for it nevertheless. After that everyone left and I started feeling depressed wishing Daddy was able to call me & tell me happy birthday like he always did and then take me out to eat at Shoneys. That was like our tradition. I miss him so much and tomorrow it will be a year since he died. I have been feeling very depressed the past few days over it. Like I have cried so much and felt so sick and lonely. I dont want to feel this way...but its like it wont go away. My heart feels so heavy & hardened and I just want to go and lay down in bed and stay there forever & ever. Mostly b/c of Daddy...but there are other things too that make me sad. Anyways, I went to my Grannys not too long ago and took her supper and then got her laundry. She gave me a lil bit of birthday money and then I came home. Darrell called me whle I was there to wish me a Happy Birthday and of course he mentioned Daddys 1 year tomorrow and stuff. But it meant SO much that he rememberd my birthday!!!! Well then my sister Debra called!! That totally made me smile! I have missed her so much and NEEDED to hear her voice. ANd the fact that she remembered my bday meant ALOT. So we talked on the phone a good 45 minutes probably. She cheered me up some. Heather also called me to tell me Happy Birthday and then my Aunt Libby called while Iw as talking to Debra on hte other phone but she left me a voice mail singing Happy Birthday to me..it was soooo sweet!!! So I called her back when I got off the phone with Debra Sue! She asked me to hav elunch with her maybe Thursday or Friday so I hope I get to. I think I had about 3 people call my phone today and sing Happy Birthday on my voicemail haha. Stephanie emailed me happy birthday, Emily called me and told me that my presnent broke so Ill have to get it later, Leslie called and wants me to get together with her tomorrow night to get my present. Stephanie Pressley, Julie, Amy Parks, Amy Tindell, and Juliana all emailed me happy birthday and/or sent me electronic greeting cards. ANd Sara my sister got me a bracelet & a purse I wanted for my bday. SO I am very blessed with wonderful people in my life that care bout & remembered me. I wanted to bypass my birthday this year...but then again as hard as it has been lately....people showing they love me has helped me some to feel a little better. Tomorrow Im going to go out to Daddys grave sometime. Well, I guess Ive written enough....but its been a while. Talk to everyone later. THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS & FAMILY WHO TRIED TO MAKE MY BIRTHDAY SPECIAL!! I LOVE YOU. "Heartache" By: Tait Half of you has been taken The other half is barely holding on You set a course across the ocean You had a dream And now it's all but lost But I want you to know I won't let you go Oh my heart aches for you Oh my heart breaks for you Oh my heart bleeds for you Whatever may come I'll stand by you Who you are is amazing A precious soul so beautifully made It hurts to see your life fading But Heaven knows every tear you've cried Oh yeah And I want you to know I'll never let you go Oh my heart aches for you Oh my heart breaks for you Oh my heart bleeds for you Whatever may come I'll stand by you You are so amazing Keep the light from fading