Its nice knowing everybody is clueless. not that everyone is really clueless, but reading “Kat”s (hope she doesn’t care that I call her that) diary revealed alot of what I feel. I spent alot of the weekend wishing I were back in scotts room or in tess’s car. On Sunday scott C. was like “oh craig keep me warm” so I was thinkin “tell him lies quick” and then I kinda decided it was church I better tell a half truth. I said it was good but awkward. which is true, cuz I really thought it sucked to be told when to cuddle. As for how the cuddling really was, I cant really rate it (sheltered life) but *strange gargling noise*. the way her hair smelled, the way she guided my hands, THE WAY SHE TICKLED MY FOOT to get me off the bed and onto the pillow. It was far beyond any other cuddling I have been privileged to receive. So Monday I finally got over feeling all cuddle junky. thentess called (I was shocked amazed baffled and bewildered, but felt privileged) and was like hey you wanna do something. so I asked and my parents were like “um we are a group of no fun parents who believe yard work is the source of true power” so I spent the day doing nothing. I really dont know how I feel about kat, I think that I will leave it up to her to decide what to do. If nothing else this will prevent a heart ache for either of us. ---------------------------------------- so much of what I say is "to protect the innocent" and myself. I have so much more that I simply refuse to say. maybe one day I will be secure enough to really not care what anyone thinks and what they do because of what I said.