I wish life was the way it was before scott went to california. I wish I could just do whatever fit the mood. I miss and long for the old ways and the old times. I live in the past. 'til what is to come will surely wake me from my memory searching. I am not sure whether I changed or if everyone else changed but only those I dont know well seem to be as what once was. I am alone. not alone but no one else seems to be able to really tell what I am. "I can hear you in a whisper but you can't even hear me screaming." I apologize for being vague. my parents are entrapping me in what they want me to think is home. my brother finally gained some intelligence and with it came a conscience. not that I mind, but he was more fun when he was alittle bad. I haven't written for a long time so I will catch the world up. I went to EFY and met people had fun, will probably go next year with or without scott. went camping on my birthday and over the dan bands first practice.@#!&*@. I went to provo and picked up my brother...