Kat comes over today. I can't decide where I stand on this. I can't decide just about anything about women and its depressing. understandably the naturality of shyness makes it acceptable but under some strange pretense I find that my inability to cope with situations at past make it harder to deal with the present. That and what is my possition in this whole relationship anymore anyways. My parents are so... well stupid is the best word that comes to mind but I dont mean just I am am unintelligent and can't come up with an unbiased oppinion but that they really might not be all there. Yesterday I asked my mom if I could sleep over at scotts and she was like "if you get your eagle paper work signed (which hasn't happened and for some reason I am at scotts)" so I called the guy I was supposed to get the signature from and he was like "not anymore, now you have to set up a meeting with (insert your favorite fictional characters name here) and get them to review it and sign it." so I called around and no such luck getting anything done. Now by this point my mom is furious. So I ask if I can go and she is like if you can get a ride and I was like "you just lost that battle (only I didn't say it out loud)." honestly either hold up to your bargain and piss me off all the way or dont worry about pissing yourself off and then giving in. week minded person. Plus I was brandishing my teeth like a war wound trying to get her to realize I don't have braces on anymore, and she is too blind to notice. so I havent given quite as much thought about Scott C. as I should have and I might be finding out too late just how crazy normal a person he really is. cest la vie. I cant help but wonder just what he is capable of but isn't that my inner turmopil with myself first and foremost. I am sooooooooo very lonely. This really randomly cool kidd and I composed a random song out of my thought journal on wednesday. Its tight, I dont remember it for sure but it goes something like this (chorus only so far) I am sick of never being in love, I am sick of all the things that I am dreamin of', and I can't help but wonder when my hope runs dry, will it be me that kills myself or by your hand I die. I liked it. so you can bite me. literally if your even semi-hott(it doesn't take much to meet this requirement as I havent had a good cuddle with a real person in seven months, nine days, and about sixish hours). Silence is a sound ~craig