I've been running for 12 years. 12 excruciating years. I've been trying to hard to simply put as much distance between me and those moments as possible. I've been running, slowly sprinting towards the same misguided mistakes that scarred and scared me, and started this marathon run. Twelve years is a long time to run. And here I now stand, still, with both feet planted in the cold dirt. Here I stand, with a firm resignation to face the music, to return to whatever I have left of a life to live. Here is where I finally swear off the running that has been my life for so long. I still can't fight off everything. But I will stand no further lost. I will no longer run. I can no longer run. Here is where I stand and swear to god that I will never run again. Its time to make up for the twelve years I lost. Its time to find me, and introduce him to some really great people, and be happy. Its time to redefine my relationship to the world. and here is where I stand. This is where I start.