Strange that in the depths of defeat, terror, struggle, and the very end, I stay so calm but when all is fine I am not. Its always been that way, when others feel bad I usually don't. Otherwise I always seem to need comfort. I suppose thats good. But it always seems so awkward. So yeah. today I went with Kat and Tess and Scott to summerfest. Kat was all cuddly but I was paranoid. its not that I didn't really really really want to cuddle or anything *shifty eyes* but I was afraid somebody would see and my parents would find out and my priveledges which I have worked so hard for will al dissapear. We decided that summerfest was boring and went to borders. that was fun. Except that Tess for not wanting to have children was extremely "sex crazed." so then we went to the mall. the car ride was fun. we went to hot topic and Tess's dad called and wasn't all that happy so we got dropped off across the street and walked home. I felt bad but I know it happens and I know that eventually we all will forget it. Its not THAT big a deal. Everyone but Tess wanted to go watch a movie at scotts. but oh well that wont happen. I hope my dad isn't all nazi make me come home early tomorrow. if he is oh well. theres always next week. ---------------------------------------- edit grrr. I must either be really tired or scott must have some really dirty water. I feel like the world is upside down. except that if you think about it the wrong way it is. that and gravity only pulls us towards a center and not "down". yeah intoxication. or suicide take your pick. so yeah the flying monkeys are coming to get me sometime around three