suddenly, as though at the flick of a switch I am quiet. as though one thousand torrentuous storms flooded out of my mouth and at a simple thought, of someone I havent seen for decades (as a dog) I want to cry, I want to scream, and I want to die. I used to know what I did was right, now all I know is things aren't what they were. here I am. I dont die, I dont scream, I dont cry. I am quiet. you called to tell me you got lip action from my old girlfriend, to say you got sloppy seconds of my best meal. Now you can't decide if I am insulting you or just being coy. Let me make it clear as crystal, instead of this foggy emerald you think is jade. You called to tell me that your sinful solution to a perplexing problem that does not plague me, is to suck in the stomasanguins of my former painted -. I wrote to tell you that you can have the bitch. Should it matter that i dated such a whore and was blind. Should it matter that i miss feeling validated. Should it matter that i dont anymore. Should it matter that i now feel violated. Should it matter that I dont anymore. I need someone to mediate between me and the world, someone to be the hero and save me from it and it from me. It says alot to say the world needs saving from me. If I were the last person on earth and I knew god still had his back turned, I would still stop at stop signs. Save me from myself. Save me from you. And god save me from ever making that mistake again.