I feel so desolate. mostly because thats about the same as the amount I am thinking. I am sooo high on cleaners. My head really realkly hurts. I got my drivers permit today. I might finally be in a band. I am trying not to get my hopes up just in case it falls apart but I dont think this one will. scott owns me. I dont know why I am in such a bad mood. OH wait yeah I do my mom is an a***o*e. a-whore what were you thinking. That and the headache. I am at scotts. He is the coolest. allthough I wanna do somethin beside sit on my butt on a computer and write random stuff to other people. I get to work the fireworks stand friday saturday and monday. That means money or fireworks. yay theres lots you can do with fireworks, I mean uh no I wasn't tampering with fireworks no. I never write in this anymore. I guess I just dont care to. theres other things in life. ---------------------------------------- I hate: envy rich people liberals conservatives everybody with a set opinion republicans depression my parents rules that others make not having food not being able to do stuff knowing someone cares but not being able to convince myself someone does knowing someone doesn't care like they used to having things that were good go bad knowing my life can only get worse for the next little while knowing my parents are right tears of emotional pain the need for someone thats a strange one. its true. I hate having to cling to something just to be happy. I hate needing anything. because when its gone or you cant have it it only makes things that much worse. knowing truths others cant see not being able to convince myself of the truth I love/like: scott tess kat my bro good music inspired art good art thunder and lightening rain grass the sunday comics having people who care the wind the smell of kats hair (it just needs a seperate category) people doing things that are amusing ice cream donuts mac and cheese having the check out skill of a master knowing that I can blame anything on my parents and make it sound in my own mind knowing that I am better for my mistakes and problems knowing that being wierd is normal making others feel good knowing that with the right combination of people anything can be fun being able to know abything at all not having a dog candystripes (on other people) randomness a good story being able to play 5 musical instruments with at least one year experiance (yes that includes drums even though its only been 8 months) being able to divide one by one being able to take the meanest slam and turn it around and make it meaner being able to find loopholes in rules being able to do things I am not supposed to cuddling singing in bed (yes its a little known fact but I do sing in bed) when my dad does cool stuff w/me when my mom leaves me alone dances (I dont dance well at all but the atmosphere...) loud music making people I hate mad looking at the stars and not caring what constelation it is just looking at the sparkle looking directly into the sun when I get spoiled when I get to have fun on saturday before noon the smell of: permanent markers gasoline spray paint band-aids (they have a smell) Kats hair(so I put it twice so sue me) new sheets rain laughing birthdays christmas the holiday season snow slush venting black red pink (on other people) candy chocolate baggy clothing getting wierd looks from wierd people cuddling close (not to mention any names [or that its obvious or anything]kat) long hair hippies nintendos being able to save food the freshman movie on the lawn having something wear I can die a million times and still just click a button and be alive abain burning holes in other peoples lawns fiddling with things black leather comfy chairs feathers new spactacles new expericances love? perversion voice mail (the group not the phone thing) kermit the frog chewbaka hairy creatures strange conversations being emo (I always say its sucks but I dont think I would be remotely sane if I weren't emo sometimes when sitdiary works being with people jumping off things making fool of myself walmart runs forest fire girls being happy having muscle secrets prizes adventures hangin out late late at night being super hyper cuz its late at night wow I have a lot of things I like, that makes me happy. I ought to remember that when I get sad