I miss California SO HARD! I just left Scott a comment, I miss him too. Somehow when I envisioned my life at 19 this is what I thought I would be doing, though I'm not too far from it. I just glanced at a picture of a coastal highway and I am nearly in tears. Its pathetic, and there is nothing I can do. I suppose I should sleep, and the sleep will pull the longing from my fingers, and fill them with newness. Fill my fingers with freshness. But all I can do is wish I were there. There in the arms of a warm California night. With all the warmth and the glow of the bustling light and people. So much life grows there. So much to envision. I love the Real mountains, and the sky that actually smiles back. But something screams deep within me, as though manifest destiny were hard coded into each of my fibers, though that destiny is long dead. Something deep beneath my ribs longs to feel free, to smell the ocean, to see the sun in everything and everyone. Maybe what I miss most about California is me. And the question becomes, can I actually become that person anywhere else? its the silence that scares me most.