That's it, the world hates my family, not just me, my entire family. My grandpa's dead, he just died, I guess. I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to pretend that I'm seriously torn apart by this. It's just that...as if losing my uncle, my best friend, my mom's best friend, and my mind hasn't been enough for whoevers god does this sorta shit. I would love to have it all back now, I don't like seeing my mom depressed, that's my job in this goddamn family, not her's. Now what though, what else am I going to lose, is there anything left? Maybe this is payback for all of our mistakes, probably, but why do others have to die and suffer for their friends. I guess thats just the way of the world, people, countries, everyone pays for someone elses mistakes, along with their own. But back to what I was saying...I don't think I've seen my mom cry since she got kicked out of nursing school for the third time, or when her best friend died. Me and my mom, we're the same in that aspect, we don't cry for much, it takes a lot to make us cry. But I think the saddest part now, is that my grandpa's gone, and I never knew him that well, how could I? He alienated himself from the entire family practically by the time that I was able to remember. We only saw him once a year if we were lucky, and it was only for like a day. So there's no way for me to be sad, I mean..I'm sad, but I can't cry. I hate myself for not being able to do these things, I think to my parents and friends it makes me seem heartless, jeez. Life sucks, even when it's gone.