This whole week I have been beyond stressed out. It's been really bad, I had an anxiety attack last night, quite wonderful (not). It's all cuz of this stupid video project we have for World History. With my wholly unmotivated group I've kinda been orchestrating it all. That's how it seems to be most of the time, I'm stuck putting it all together. Linsey has not been to school all week, and if I can't reach her tonight she's fucking on her own, I'm not going to kill myself more over somebody elses problems. Isreal is the only other person who seems to be with it. He's got the camera and what not. Now to make things worse, it's windy as hell outside and if it stays this way we will not be able to make the video outside. Grrr! So today I have to call everybody, yeah on Thanksgiving, ruin somebodies dinner I'm sure. Why am I left to do all of this? I'm not a fucking superhero. Two nights ago I was watching a movie that had this huge building in it, and it had an open rooftop. I wonder what it would be like to jump. And when would it hit you that doing that would be the last thing you ever did. I can almost imagine. [edit]I forgot to mention I was watching the news. It seems that drivers that work for Vons and all the stores being picketed are refusing to work. Or at least the Union workers are. Haha I figure either the stores give in or they're just going to fire everybody and never regain the amount of customers they used to have. We're never going there if they do that.[edit] letting out the noise inside of me every window pain is shattering cutting out my words before I speak this is how it feels to not believe Yellowcard