Today= Not-so-good day At lunch we were all hanging out in the usual spot, and there was all kinds of smoke coming over the hillside. Then we saw some firetruck race by with sirens and what not. I fucking had a panic attack, and I'm not soo sure why. I just kept thinking I was gonna get back to my house and it just wasn't going to be there, nothing was gonna be there. Danielle noticed, and for this I love her very very much. She didn't even ask what was wrong at first, she gave me a hug. I think she kinda got the gist of it. And then everybody came over. I had to recap the reason why I have this fear, the whole burning woman in the van. Yeah it kinda made me feel stupid, because I'm one of the stronger girls in our group, and to be breaking down because of a fire that isn't there....yeah I think you get it. Nina mentioned that Ronnie's house burnt down, I never knew that. That got Ronnie going, so there where two people having a shitty lunch at once. I talked with Ally (lordy) and she was actually very normal, I guess when the occasion rises she can be very serious, and I appreciated that a lot. Besides that things were pretty good. I got exactly no sleep last night, I was waiting for someone to show up at our door and tell us we have to evacuate. I only got about 1 hour of sleep when I passed out, and guess what I did? I dreamed about the fires. This is all really fucking with my mind. Then got like 10 minutes of rest when mom woke up and started getting ready. I felt really rested for most of the day though, I dunno why, when I got home I completely went dead. It's just been a wierd wierd day. *sigh* At least the winds direction has changed, and it's gotten significantly colder...no more Santa Ana's at least around here. I just don't want this shit anymore, and people wonder why I don't like living in California. What California? Almost all of fucking SoCal has been destroyed. There is no California anymore, I won't see it, because everywhere I go outside of this town is gonna be charred.