Listening to: Transplants-Sad But True
Feeling: sane
Why am I sad? I was just looking at old pictures and stuff from the Columbine shootings, and for the longest time I felt really detached from it because I didn't know how it really felt to lose people soo suddenly. But now that Maggie's gone, I know how it feels not to get to say goodbye, and how much that hurts...especially when your still young, and you never think your going to lose your friends at this age.
Every day, every time....every fucking time I talk to my parents before I leave I tell them that I love them, and I make sure to say goodbye. Because I don't know if I'll see them again, and I definetely wouldn't want to do to them what Maggie did to me, I want them to have more closure then I ever did, and I'd want it as well.
My god that made me cry soo much right there, and I've been feeling better lately. I don't feel bad now, really, I'm just feeling..well..sad. I miss her a lot still, and it still hurts a lot.
Anyways, I got on to say what my dad told me. We were talking about how my mom thought I already had a tattoo, and I quote, he said that he "doesn't mind tattooes, as long as i can cover them up at job interviews" I see a tattoo coming with my next birthday or sooner :)
Bry and Heather said my tribute to Maggie made them cry....
as time goes on I can never forget. all the times we had. memories I'll protect. it seems like yesterday. when I last saw your face. your no longer here and no one can replace. all the times we had. wish they could happen again. I'll hold you in my heart. in my heart till the end. if I could make a change. it'd be me not you. so hard to sit and cope. so sad but true
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