I'm having a crap-time, thinking of that oh-so short time ago when I was friends with her. I've said it like 20 times, and will probably say it once or twice more. But I think I've found a song that I can listen to 10 years from now, and go 'Yeah, thats how I felt about her' and tell my kids about her. I dunno. I know I'm only 14, and these things are minor in the large scheme of things, but I always feel that it's these first years that define the person we grow up to be. So being emotionally scarred by someone I gave up soo much for is always going to affect me, I don't think I'll ever fully be over it, I may forget, but then I'll read my old diaries, and get that sharp pain in my chest, the one I get every time I think of her name, or say it. I'm never going to let somebody get that close, I'm never going to open up. I don't think I'll ever manage to fall in love, because I just can't be the same with someone, that I was with her. But the song....the song is My Immortal, Evanescence. I listened to it, and just was crying my eyes out, it was fucking terrible. Is it possible to be in love with a friendship, not the person, but what you have between you? If it is, then that's what happened to me. .You used to captivate me with your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you left behind, your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me.