Watch me obsess, but it should already be clear, with what happened in August (entry:Burning....really) I don't handle death well, even when its not somebody I know. Maggie was somebody I knew, which makes it even harder. I cried my eyes out last night. It was like every few seconds I'd be ok, then bam! I'd feel terrible, and I'd think that she's not gonna be there anymore. Even now, I looked at her picture and was just completely detached from the fact that its her. And people tell us we should get over it, with their fake smiles. They tell us she's in a 'better place'. I know a lot of them are just happy its not happening to them. And they can't say where she is, because they don't know, they have no right to tell us if she likes it there better then here with us. I don't wanna go to PE, and stare at her empty number. I don't want to walk down town, and have her not be there to say hi to. I wish people would stop telling me how to grieve. And I REALLY wish people wouldn't take it upon themselves to decide who deserves to have their notes up on the tree at school or not. Its not a friend contest, nobody has the upperhand here, and its not some petty little thing, she's dead, and fighting over who was her friend or not is NOT GOING TO BRING HER BACK...so everybody can fucking cut it out, its really sickening.