My emotions are like a day ahead of themselves. Today I felt really shitty...and today all the things that could make me feel shitty happened. I had a hell of a time on the Chem Comm test, I hated it much. At lunch, that was the worst. First we were all having fun, throwing salad and stuff. Then Matt stole Ronnie's hat, stuff it in Nina's skirt or something. So Ronnie kicked Matt right there...yeah. She had these huge shoes on and he dropped to his knees. So then Ally comes up and makes like she's gonna kick Matt. I told her to stay away and she comes up to me like she's gonna kick me, so I told her if she kicks me I was gonna fuck her up. So what does she do??? It's Ally, of course she kicked me. And then tried to walk away, but I socked her in the back. She starts yelling at me...telling ME to be nice. Fucking whore I'd love to actually be able to beat the shit out of her. She called me something like a sadistic bitch and I reminded her that obviously that's what I am. So she ran off, Nina to. Ronnie apologized to Matt then went after them. So Victor comes up laughing at Matt...I dunno I felt like I needed to stick up for him. So I called Victor a gimp, and he gets all defensive and asked me if I was really dumb enough to stand up to a guy who was bigger then me. He also started saying he wasn't a gimp. And Matt told him to shut up, saying I could kick his ass any day. Then Matt went after the girls, and Me, Josh and John just stayed down there. Then Matt comes back reallllly pissed because everybody hates him. Then he leaves again. Nina came down but not to us, and tells me that Ally's mad at me...like I would fucking care, the little whore can be mad, doesn't matter to me. And then the bell rang. Fucking drama, I feel like I'm back with Michelle. God damn. And also After school Nina and Matt were talking again, and Nina said hi. But I don't think they understand that I'm not somebody who let's shit go that easily. And also the thing is for all this nobody's there to help me out....they all help the other girls, cuz I'm the tough one, and I don't get hurt. I fucking hate it, I can't always be the strong one....maybe I don't like it all the time, but nobodies going to help me out. Maybe that's why I have that persona, in the beginning nobody cared enough to help, so I take care of myself. Fuck them. I can't stand how fast things change. I had a good time coming home, but I'm soo pissed I really don't wanna talk about it. And tonight I have to clean the house, which inevitably means that a) my dad's gonna yell at me for something b) my mom is going to yell at me cuz she doesn't think I do it right.