Suddenly all i can think about is the crushed mulberries...or the octupus that somehow shed it's skin preventing my sexual drive and left me completely flabbergasted and afraid. always afraid. I don' t feel like I can put myself out there. I don't feel like I can breakaway. I don't feel like I can speak what I really want...and get away with it. Because everything has to be a secret with me. Everything is always a b no rma l and I like to go back to the same mistakes...maybe for the thrill that I can. Even though I know I can't get away with it. My independance, has kitties gripping at my tits, with a grip so tight, I know they won't ever let go...and that's not what I want. I need someone in my life to let go... I need the frog to hop away, and stop watching my every move. I feel threatened, like if I make one wrong move, I will be completely allured to the wrong tree branch. I'm not even sure if I know what I'm talking about. Which is why random conversations seem to inspire me. I got in another fight with my mom today. She is an angered, bi polar bitch who blames teenages for making mother's leave their children. So I told her she wins again, because I know she always thinks she right. I told if she was so unhappy, she could leave. Don't do me any favors by staying. I mean I don't get why I'm responsible for her unhappiness. I've done some stupid things, so what... find a way to have your own life. I think she just really needs to get over that I'm not the gifted child I used to be. RIP TAYLOR :'(