I'm having one of those moments where I'm counting to five in my head...backwards; trying to keep my "inner peace" but really i want to scream exactly how much hate and resentment I've been building up. The raising fear that my voice will only makes things worse keeps me silent. I fail to be symathetic to anyone's dying words, when it comes to the spews of kevin. I think if I saw Melissa right now, I would beat the shit out of her. hahaha like I never thought I could ever hate her. I guess I am just disappointed so much, that she became like everyone else. I cannot believe how she was all up in my face like nothing ever happened and the next day she is back to her stupid immature self. Ooo lord only knows how ghetto i can be when I'm pissed off. disappointment yup. yup. sure, i have changed alot but i still got what matters the most to me. I don't know what I would do without lecka and meagan. And yeah I spend alot of my time with Kevin, but guys aren't guarenteed to always be there. I don't make Kevin my whole life, because then I would have trouble defining myself for who I AM. But anyways, I could never be friends with Mel again. I don't want to. My way of not caring anymore is to go frame her "sorry" note, and laugh at it for hours. Fucking fake. 16 days until prom 19 days until my birthday