I'm giving away everything I've come to hate to start over again a few fakes, excuses, pain, guilt summer has shown me where the true colors lie beneath a shadow, and american apathy. i have to throw my summer diary away tomorrow, either that or bury it until the po po don't show up at my door anymore. Then I have to take my sunken eyes, head out the door, and find out the test results. I feel sorry for anyone who has to be around me right now. william called me like an obsessive molester today. kari is the only person i consider here frank is still lying on white sheets. i need to talk to him urgently...but I don't want to kill him with my news. dan talks to me about the future...throwing more options down my throat. Makes me more stressed. i saw Chris....i abandoned him, how he left me. nabih. ha well he is like me. let me leave it at that. everything now just makes me think, how often do we let our thoughts prevent us from living. have i changed so much that i'm cold to the touch. or is it you, who made me this way? change me back to what i was