when I'm overwhelmed. i am still. maybe I'm waiting for a bulldozer to simply destroy what's unfinished. i can't do it all. i'm a turd. and I know it's all in my head; this dialogue that clenches hold to fear I am used to my mom kicking me when I'm down. How could I blame her? Atleast she tells me the truth. loser I hate the feeling of sleeping awake.