I am the most stupiest girl ever!! I mean c'mon... how stupid can you get?! argh. here let me explain it. Mrs. ganley caught me and brandon hugging. I was scared as anything (Maleeha says that a lot. :] ) she almost gave us referrals it was not fun. So she has been scaring me all day. It kinda sucked. So we were walking to 5th period.... and i see brandon. I wanted to go say hi, but he was next to mrs. ganleys class. I freak out and run to 5th period. I see him after 5th period and i get freaked out cuz i see mrs. ganley. argh!. then after 6th we were walking (with brandon) and i freak once i see mrs. ganley. it sucked soooo much... and he doesnt know thins. so i called him last night like around 7:45. he didnt answer (jordan did) and i was like umm... can you tell brandon to call me? he said yeah. So ii was waiting on the phone to ring for hours.. i felt sooo stupid. he never called. So then i went online to find an e-mail from my friend tessa. It said "why are you going to break up with brandon. or better yet why is he going to break up with you?" this kinda blew it so i went outside and started talking to my friend nick.awesome dude.. i told what i should do, and he is a really lay back and watch kinda guy so he said. "go with the flow and tell him" that helped.. or it would of if i had the chance to talk to brandon. anyways... i started telling nick that i was sooo scared because i have put so much hope, effort, soo much of me. that if it were to fall apart my world would shatter... so i told him that and went home. before i went to sleep i started crying. uncontrollably... it was awful. but i kept asking myself a few question. "I knew how much it was going to hurt. why didnt i just quit? why didnt i just stop it before it got too far?" im so screwed. &heart;
Maria