Everything went wrong. Yesterday started differently. That should have been my first clue. Everything was upside down. The news of Brandon going straightedge messes everything up. I'm extremely happy for him, but that was the only reason why I wouldn't date him. Now he's the perfect Brandon I've always loved and what not. Anyways, that doesn't matter. I'm going to put that to the back of my mind. But Jack and I were supposed to go to a bonfire last night. My mom had spent her entire afternoon finding things out and what not. Then only 30 minutes before my dad was going to pick me up Jack suggests to forget about the whole thing. I told my mother and she was furious. Then every one got mad at me. And apparently I can't handle that kind of things that well. I was really upset because in attempt to make everything better I just made everything worse. So yeah... I really hated the feeling. And after last night everything seems so wrong now. Like there's something wrong right now but I can't seem to figure out what it is. I don't like the feeling at all. I want to find what ever went astray yesterday and fix it or just cut it out. I don't know. I hate the feeling of helplessness that I have at the moment. I have a heavy heart for no reason what so ever. It's driving me nuts because the more I attempt to figure out what's wrong the more it hurts. I guess because it seems as if I'm getting closer to the answer but the answer's going to hurt me more. Maybe it's supressed in my brain for that reason. I want to forget it but there's a nagging inside that tells me I can't. Maybe I'll ignore it for a while...