After two years of being with Adam. I've called it quits. Feelings inside of me are still there. I see him or he touches me, my body aches to be with him. But its not the same. What's changed? I was madly inlove with him. I read my past posts, and I see how much I loved him. How much I cared? How do I get all of that back? And why did it leave?

He is a good man. He loves me andd is willing to stand by me through anything. Am I just scared of the commitment? Could that be it? Once I realize its serious, I freak? If that's it, then I need to ask myself, what is wrong with me?

Why am I not happy? I have everything I wanted? Where is my joy anyore? Again I say, I feel broken. Like I need to runaway and start over again. But why? I've got school, classes, friends, brothers, family, and a man who loves me. Why am I not happy? What is just not clicking in my head? What do I even want? Cause see that doesnt make sense either. I want to be free, but I dont want to be alone. I want to care but then I dont. I want someone to love me, but then I dont. I legitimately need to revaluate myself. And pronto.