hmm i had a great day with ben and an amazing night with christina, eric, james, emily, mike, morgan, and vicky. So now im sitting here. and i just feel like crying. I dont know why. I mean i could go down and watch Shahrukh in pardes, and then be crying for a reason, but still, its weird. I was sitting here thinking... no one really knows me. I mean yeah you all know me but i mean theres so much to me that i havent told anyone. And its like i purposefully havent told anyone stuff, so i wonder why it has come as such a shock to me. O well, i guess i just hadnt realized it. I think i figured it out when i just wanted to talk to someone about it, and realized i cant do that. I have that gut feeling that im slipping back to the way i used to be... and i keep ending up there. It's like there's no escaping. The good thing is that i have so much to keep me occupied like the campaigns (esp parkers) and the birthdays coming up in the next couple months (damn there are a lot). I'm also trying to put a lil more effort into school... i got my SAT score today....1280. Damn, not high enough, ill have to take it again. It has dawned on me that it's hard for anyone to post anything because they dont know what the hell im talking about. There are a few people who id consider talking to... only people who are very close to me. VERY CLOSE. I mean like close enough that i would die for you...there are only a few of you out there. anyway you'd think id make this a private entry, but no. Maybe its good that people know that they dont know everything about me. Love to all, Nish