i dont know why im not happy right now. i had a perfectly successful seeds of peace mtg, and life SHOULD be good...but for some reason, it just isnt. why? im sitting here trying to figure out why im never happy lately. and as i think i about it, i realize that i bring this upon myself, and i dont know why i torture myself this way, but i do it. o well. and i really dont want to leave. i was talking to christina about this friday night...and i'm gonna be a mess. I also talked about it with parker vaguely and i know that i really wanna get out of my house bad, but still. Lindsey was right, it hasnt really sunk in for a lot of people that we are LEAVING. gone. and a lot of my friends are juniors... im gonna be flipping out. what am i gonna do? i really dont want to leave. and there are certain people i REALLY dont want to leave. eff....today was such a good day too...well, yeah until greenawalt's classes. even though i dont have straight A's, his classes are the only ones im actually struggling with. my work hours got cut, so although im earning less, i am also getting some more time. Seeds of peace is so different this year, i feel like im doing such a crappy job. i hate when people cant commit to things. if you are in a club there should be a VALID reason for not coming to meetings. I feel like i am wasting my time sooo much because every week there is a new crowd. and if you are going to come to the meetings, id prefer if you werent listening to the effin game while im talking. Bc that person is the same dumbass who asks "wait, what movie?" the day before the fundraiser. God, people are just pissing me off today. Oh if you actually read this far, i commend you, and i definitely dont expect that anyone has. and im hugless. Sorry im being a whiny pain in the ass...