It's nice to read the unfiltered thoughts of previous night time Craigory. It's nice to put a voice to the parts of me that I keep secret. It's the secrets after all, that define us.

I've been pretty calous for a while now. I spent the summer hoping Caity would help with some of the things that are important to me but she never found the time. Now that she's back in school I've decided to openly admit that I can't expect anything from her. It's a little freeing, but I don't know what to do with the extra time and energy.

I've been thinking about pursuing some of my goals for a long time and I just can't seem to land on any goals. I grew up with only one thing on my mind and that was the love of a good woman. I guess I don't know whether my romantic ideal is totally inobtainible or I just picked a bad nut. It's hard to try and shift my perspective to finding someone who will fill that big void in my life and learning to fill it myself.

How do I make myself feel invincible? How do I find that inner strength to say what I mean always; to be what I want always; To have the sure-headed and calm acceptance of who I am and what I am?

If balance is an act, learning to balance requires practice.