how does it feel to loose something? i think i knowhow i feel, i feel somehow disappointed in myself. keeping track of things is such and easy thing to do, and to lose things really puts a downer on my day. When i lose things i dont like to admit it to authority figures in my life, ie my mum. i dont know why, i just feel i cant disappoint her, or whatever, its frustrating, i cant really talk to my mum anymore about anything without feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Perhaps its because i'm leaving, and she doesnt know yet... maybe... ah, i started this because my brown pad has run out of pages, and typing is faster than writing, so i can put more down on here, than in a hard binded note pad. and because i stay up way too late these days writing shit in my diary... when did i become such a writing guy... i usually just keep everything to myself... i like being able to put things down on paper now though. it gives me a chance to look at what i think, so i can analyse it.(analyse has anal in it teehee)The thing that really annoys me about loosing things though is the feeling of general pissed off towards some knob who may have stolen something, if that is how i lost something. I think the majority of stuff i lose, i dont lose, but it is taken from me. why do people need to take others stuff, i mean, sure wanton greed must be a major factor, but honestly, how low can you go! a freaken set of felt pens! people of the world COME ON! argh getting frustrated is frustrating. so tonight i have umm soccer meeting about prize giving(fingers crossed) saturday six-a-side, and ummm pre-season yeah. maybe it might be a good meeting, i dunno, im looking forward to it i guess. My life has taken such a turn since getting sick, everyday since the doctor said stop doing anything, and go lie in bed till you are all better theres a good lad. so i think getting out oft he house is good for me, i started going to school again. and i might get back into sport again, outrigging, and maybe this six-a-side stuff on saturdays. i feel so empty and bored out of my skull, i've spent a lot of my time, here infront of my screen. i started playing an online game again, that i gave up four months ago... its strange how you miss sometings. the community on online games is probably the real reason i play, not the game itself, although it does have its merits. i think getting out of my routine routine will wake me up sort of. im still getting chronic fatigue, and fell asleep today at school after lunch and didnt wake up till the last bell, effectively missing three classes. I know the teachers are being awesome, and everyone is being patient, me most of all. i had my final blood test two weeks ago, i should be recovered by now, but maybe im rushing things. eh, i think/write too much, maybe a pen diary isnt so bad, you dont have much room so you only write down whats important. especially a generaal lack of elispes... bwahahaha! pH34r... anway im off to dinner, until i find time for this again Kill kill kill, your way to glory, tell tell tell, a different story. TRAITORRR!!!!