I cant wait to get out of here, get away, be free? but i wonder how free will i really be... always people try and tie you down to things, make sure you turn up to this simon, simon can you come over and blah blah, please be here at such and such or something wont happen. Fuck it all, why am i so fucking significant, there are plenty of fuckers out there who can help people. I want to be me, maybe be alone too. i havent been alone in 7 months, when im by myself, im in the moment, i enjoy life, i enjoy little things. When im sucked in to conformity and obligation I'm calm, i do the job, but afterwards im fucked off. when im by myself, i am happy to help people, happy to communicate, when im some people, im hate communicating. I actually detest opening my mouth and relating to another person, i hate the sensation, i hate the thoughts i get. I want to be free. free to choose who i communicate with, free to choose who i smile at, free to say please or thank you whenever i so wish, free to push the tempo, or free to sit back and relax. I want to take responsibility for my body, my actions, my life. Im sick of bieng a fucking puppet, i want to be a reall boy! i dont even really know what that might be like, i do, but not the full potential. i wonder will i still keep in touch with them. will i feel empty if there is no contact... bah... One father is worth 100 school masters. but with school masters, i can talk about tings that aren't from within... maybe i hate having to share my emotions. because they are so close at the moment to me, i feel weaker? or something, i know i like being emotionally detached from people. anyway... time to finish my enrolement for uni! here i come BJH! HERE I COME FREEDOM!! You're so cold keep your hand in mine, wise men wonder while strong men die.