hey i have nothing going on at the moment. im embracing ... im embracing..ummm im embracing actually ill talk about dad instead. so on boxing day he said to me that he doesnt like the way i talk to him, and he really inst interested in me anymore. and then he walked away and i said cool. i should have said why but i honestly had no idea it was coming and i hadnt really had a chance to think about it. but in reality i guess so. the last time we really hung out was end of november where we spent three days together... by the end i was barely speaking to him... i just got over it. i talked so much to him on the first few days it was good. but there were times when i was just plain frustrated and uncomfortable... and as the weekend went on the more those feelings would become permanent the whole time. i was ashamed of him. i didnt tell people he was my dad... i said he was my uncle. how weak is that? and now we dont talk anymore! hoo ray. i am a little gutted i think, as i keep thinking about it... and i guess i didnt really understand what happened until just now when i thought about what i've been like... up until today i was just like he's the dick not me. i dont know why i feel uncomfortable around him. make it akwar. i get short tempered and have no time for his questions to which the answers seem obvious to me. on boxing day he was at me about still trialing or still having a shot at making the team for sweden... and i was just like NO NO NO! dont you get it its over i cant go, i get it and im pissed, why you doing this to me? there is no chance! ZERO! and then he said the stuff he said about not liking me. i swear i'd told him about it when i was in hospital. he already knew about it and was just forgetful? or i dont know? trying to start a conversation? i wonder what he's thinking? that he was just trying to give me hope and i just shoved it in his face? or that he doesnt need some smart ass shithead stressing his life... the only real thing we talk about is science these days... he knows so much of what im learning and it great to bounce ideas off of him. but anything personal and i get defensive or smart ass or short tempered and frustrated and just get off my back already old man. he still trys to give me advice! always will ithink its how it goes huh. well. i will have to talk to him eventually i guess. His destination was termination A dead end situation We are the wasted generation