got back with courts on saturday... talked about it, decided not going out wasnt working until we give it a go to get it out of the system... or maybe its going to work out.

thats ok. im happy about that.

did the acid tab on monday. what a day. my friend cam sat with me and played guitar for me all day as we rolled around. i had waves of chaos and then i would snap back to reality for five seconds and then back into disorganised nothing.

a body high lasted two hours then it got into loss of perspective and coherency. i couldnt remember much and laughed at just about everything and anything. i've never cried so much. i went into hysterics when cam went into hysterics and so on. good laughs!!! great laughs.

i really appreciated music and i got a few hallucinations but not big ones just a few things around his guitar like the music exploding out and enveloping him. it was a blissfull feeling. just lying on the grass in the sun buzzing. i cant really explain it... i was playing with some gravel for ages, well it was probably only two or three minutes. it felt like ages. and the gravel felt like water and was so pleasing to touch. most things were.

i leant againts a wall and felt like a dropped into it a bit but i didnt give into the feeling and did something else. i did something else most times i felt like i was about to go into something heavy and this generally worked to get out of those feelings.

there was silence, and at times the only thing that would bring me out of it was cams guiatar playing. and then i was back in real time for a bit until i lost time again.

i felt at times like walking would be impossible but i was always surprised once i stood up. i had no ambition. i just wanted to float around and not do anything. lying down never felt sooo good.

i ate too many strawberries and had stomach cramps towards the end but they passed after and hour or so and i was goood again.

talking to people who were "normal" was very hard work. a lot of will power was spent just understanding the words. i had trouble telling which words were which and often had to ask them to repeat themselves. this is ok for awhile but eventually they would become weirded out and leave.

was quite hard to relate to them!

cam was very easy to relate to. i could just talk normally to him and he understood me, and i him.

a very good day. i will trip again sometime this year i think! maybe in june after exams!

sooo much work to do. not enough motivation!