His fingers trace over her skin. circles and eights and raking and kneading. the breast, the flat stomach, the curve of her ass, over and down to the inner thigh. slowly up and around then back to the rib and onto the back onto the shoulders grasping at skin. then kissing the back onto the shoulder and backdown the valley of her spine. he shudders and pulls her so close. his hot face on hers. hair everywhere, embracing to find purpose. she turns away and back again. she wants him. he wants her. he tests the water, its warm. she turns away. she pushes his touch away. she pulls the covers tight around her body. he flops to his back. he sits up on his arm and with the other plays with her hair. nothing.she gets up and out to the toilet. on the return he turns over and faces the wall. the cold wall. he fumes. he fumes. he fumes. he fumes some more. she reaches over and cuddles his body. he pretends to be dead. she tries to grip his hand he doesnt respond. she strokes his belly, he ignores. he fumes. i feel rejected. a lot. is it enough? only to hug and to kiss? i guess it doesnt matter im still going to feel the way i do. wheels of fire wheels of fire in my soul wheels of fire wheels of fire let 'em roll my dreams are so fun. i had an interesting experience this morning where i had woken and went about the waking up routine only to be filled with immense regret and feelings of loss of the people of my dream world. i wanted to go back to sleep and be with them. it was weird. i always feel if i can go back to sleep i can start the dream again, i dont know if it works that way? who knows how it works. chemicals right? on the other hand im off to blenheim tomorrow yay! and then nelson! and then uni starts again! and then im almost at the end of my life as a student and into the real world, and i still feel like such a child. i feel like i havent come very far maturity or not, i can get it! how does society work!! fuck. i