well today i confronted Kiri about the way she makes me feel. she had a small panic attack. i helped her through it and drove her home. i was scared that she was going be sick... or something, but she took some pills and seemed fine after a couple of minutes. mental disorders are intense. anyway, i told her that sometimes when im around her i act like a dick, and am most certainly mean to her. i said how can i go out with you if im mean to you. i dont want to be mean to you but it keeps happening, and the only way to fix it i think is to let me go. but she wants to try fix me herself. but im not sure if it can be fixed. i think that maybe theres nothing compelling me to be with her anymore. maybe there was nothing from the start? the only similar values we had were that we lived at the same place, and went to the same uni. she loves shopping, i love not shopping. hmmmm sounds like i've made my mind up? sounds like im not trying to fix how i react to her. sounds like i want to get out of the relationship. do i like her... sure, shes cool. do i like her? maybe ill have to sleep on it. no clear answer is coming to me. man. what a start to the new year. oh well back to the farm tommorrow, work work. oh yeah aussie was fucking wicked. i want my ankle fixed! its been 289 days roughly since i injured it... so i think its time to get fixing! So cold that you cannot cope With a frozen heart I guess we blow apart I guessed it from the start