i felt like it was. i have no memory. just evidence. no matter how i stretch into my mind i come up with nothing.

as the universe goes outwards, so my mind goes inwards. it would be like finding life out there in space, and finding my lost life inside my mind.

im on a continuum, its infinity at both ends. infinity in. infinity out. at the tipping point, physicality mixes with mentality. that is the battle of life. i fight life with my mind. i fight life with my body. lets call the combination my soul. my whole.

its easier, easier to bear if i dont think about it too much. ever feel like you could explode? or transcend? must be the balance of body and mind. balance of soul.

i need to be softer. soft. weak. open.

please.