i got it worked.

i got it sorted. motivation comes from doing. when im in the process, when im thinking and writing and reading and playing the game, its all so easy and its fun. its fun. im interested. i keep going. i do well. i make my self proud.

when i start thinking about the finished product or a reward for completion i get dispondant, and i lose interest because it starts seeming un-do-able.

so i got it. just focus on doing what im doing at the time. but i still need to be big picture guy as well. i need to keep myself on task by looking at the big picture and ticking of the milestones. i get rush when i tick something off a list. but then i look at the list and its only half way done. then i try trick myself... do one more and then you've finished the first quarter. do two more and you've finished half of it!!

this isnt working too well at the moment. i think i just need a kick start. force myself to start and then im ok. its tough to force myself, i like to debate it. there's always that other option that is oh so easy, but oh so meaningless. like... this morning, lie in bed for ten more minutes, dont get up man, get up man go to uni, dont its cold, get up its go time... blah blah, if i just force myself to get up then shit happens cause im doing it and not thinking about it or building it up.

do i love you dont i love you... who cares. lets hang out and hang out and do stuff together, there's no point me sitting around thinking about it, it'll only spoil it.

how does planning come into this? i think planning is the other part of maintaining interest, if you plan to do something and then do it then its good. i plan to wake up at seven, so i do. the other part is setting yourself up not to fail. preperation. set the alarm clock. do it now.

preparation is key! dont set yourself up to fail! sometimes preparation can be interesting too, almost as interesting as doing the thing you're preparing for.

going for a run, what kind of run do i want to do, lets look up some running excercises. get interested in running. put shoes and shorts and shirt on floor so when wake up its all set out. set alarm clock. get up. GO! do whats planned. VERY SATISFYING. good flow. its all about flow.

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lynard skynard. quicksilver messenger service. Zero T. daft punk. Burial. Four Tet. Truth.

drums.

oh an for best results place QOTSA - Songs For The Deaf... the whole album on repeat. on repeat. on repeat. With a dash of mild substance abuse for 6 hours a day and you will get where the fuck im at.