Thursday, 6:38 a.m.   I Hate It... I was sitting here, having finally gotten dressed. I stayed up too late last night talking to Scott...but what else is new. So it was hell waking up this morning. Anyway, I pretended to get all cute and smiley because I felt like it. And then I came into my room and my dog's under my window (as always) howling... I HATE IT WHEN HE HOWLS. It makes me wanna cry because he never used to howl before rebecca died. dar.. And I only recently stopped crying over it...it only took a month point five... Yes. And I can't cry because that would smudge up my mascara. Heheh. It sounds so cheap, but I really hate putting on mascara...if only it didn't make a difference, then I wouldn't have to. but life goes on. Enough of my petty whining. It's Kitteh feedin' time! ----------- 10:25 a.m. duh. ----------- 10:26 a.m. There was much signing of yearbooks at school today. Ber didn't have a yearbook so she had people sign a notebook. I wished right then that I had a notebook for people to sign... So I signed a lot of yearbooks. And I tried to write meaningful things in them and stuff, rather than a quick "Have a great summer --Teresa" And Nicole kept saying how jealous she was of me because I was skinny, and I know it's a compliment and stuff, but it's weird. I can't help being skinny and having this metabolism. It's like complimenting someone for accidentally catching a cat that fell out of a tree when they were walking under it. "Oh, good catch!" but they were just in the right place at the right time. I suppose I was too, I was the right egg cell and the right sperm. I know, "Teresa that's so gross" but it's true, isn't it? *shrug* anyway, I just think it's weird. I'm so bored. I have a 2:30 dentist appointment today and then I'm going to go see scott and hang out with him for a few minutes even though half my mouth will be numb...I just like him that much. Then I gotta go by Neil's house cos I really want my happiness cd back. Aubrey wants me to go to the outdoor pool with her today but I don't know. It just...doesn't sound fun, I guess. I'd get to show off my bikini but people would want me to get in the water. I'm hydrophobic. ----------- 11:38 a.m. I wish I could magically learn how to teleport because then I would teleport to Scott's school and wait for him and go to his lunch and then teleport back here and sleep until 2 o'clock and then I would be happy. I'd just drive, but by then I would lose him. I wish he had a cellphone because then I would call him and tell him to wait. I should go to his school and paige him to the office. Or I could sit here and say all the things I could do. One time I was going somewhere and we were stopped at a stoplight behind a car. There was no tint on their back window and we could see this couple. There was a man at the wheel and a woman in the front passenger seat. They were alone, there were no kids. And then as we were waiting the girl put her head on the man's shoulder and it was so beautiful right then. It was like a romantic photograph right at that moment and it was captured in my brain and I carry it with me everywhere. And I don't even like romance. I just want to take a nap.