Friday, 12:11 p.m.   My Heart Broke 50 Times Today, But The day is Young yet Is this a fight? Are these tears welling up in my stomach necessary? I miss you. I love you. You still love me too, right? ----------------- 12:21 p.m. No school this week or next. yay me. I am so not excited. On the bright side, Nik is gonna get cash from his mum this weekend (so he says) so maybe we'll take the bus downtown one day and try to catch a good flick at the film festival. ----------------- 9:40 p.m. I got to talk to Dan E. tonight, the sexy ninja-pirate hybrid. Aren't internet crushes cute? I also got to talk to Scott as he was falling asleep at his keyboard. It was cute to picture in my head. I would imagine him as accurate as I could though, so he would have stubble on his face as he does not shave very often. I forgive him though, because his overall loveable-ness outweighs it. And also because I cannot touch him. I dreamt last night that we were together and I had a crush on him but I couldn't tell him. Mandy was in my dream. It involved an airplane and I almost died when the airplane almost crashed. We all went to Laos, which in my dream was like Fiji. I don't know where I got Laos from. Anyway, I dreamt that mandy and this boy and scott and I were at some fijian square dance and then mandy and that boy left and I dreamt that I got to rest my head on Scott's shoulder. And then I woke up. It made me sad. On days when I don't have to wake up, I usually try to go back to sleep so I can dream about him. In my dreams he is so real I can touch him. In consciousness reality presses on me from all sides so I know my imagination is fake. I miss him so hard. Look at this bad pic of me with my eyes closed, eh? And also check out my pasty white skin under the band of semi brown that I got the previous day in L.A.   Sessy Day-glo skin in a bikini! Oh and at the exam today, Caleb recognized me. He even talked to me directly. He didn't know my name, but it's all good! I am become accepted! Simon had wet hair because it was raining (all. day. long. it was wonderful) and he like walked to school or something. It was hott. I walked with Nik to the corner at which we part, so I was lonely for only 4/5ths of the treck home. I am determined to get the really cute picture of Simon, Tim, Arena, Zeb, and me from the formal. We're all wearing black so we look all blended into each other. I heard some random people even pointing it out, saying it looked cool. So I will get it, scan it in, and then post it. It's a cool picture. And then everyone will get to see how cute Simon is. School girl crushes suck, by the way. Especially when you're in love with someone else. Internet crushes are funny though. I have a internet crush on Dan! Shout out! Now if only I could proclaim out my school girl crush out simon-style. "Hey Simon...I think you're hott..." *dash away* "WTF was that? Who is she?" Meep. I am so hyper when no one is on. I wonder where Nik is, he's usually online and I can pester him but at the present moment, HE IS NOT. And he hasn't been all night. I called Mandy today! I used up all my phone card minutes to talk to her, I was so excited! I miss my Mandy! So she got the dinosaur that she's coveted since I was 7 and she was 8 and I got it. It was a psychedelic dinosaur though, you gotta realize. It is a dinosaur that oozes awesome. You squeeze it and it goes, "Meehhr" all squeak style, only less obnoxious than "Squeaky Squeak!" you know, like rubber duckies. And also it is the color of the rainbow in a cool way. It has a tear in the neck though, and stuffing is poking out, but it is still the coolest triceratops wannabe you ever did see. She also got my postcard, so that is a double cool thing. Now it is time for bed. Even though tomorrow is Saturday and I am a l4m3r and have no plans. Stupid Nik having work and me not knowing anyone else well enough to make come with me to town.