Friday, 9:12 p.m.   Lucky Today is my sister's birthday. There is no more Vacation Bible School. I saw Scott and Craig and Katherine today. Craig and Katherine held hands. Scott and I held hands. I got to see Sarah G. today. We got to talk. My daddy loves me and cares about me. I feel guilty that I don't miss my sister. I'm kind of sad. No...I'm really sad. ----------------- 10:28 p.m. There's no use in saying "should have" anymore. Nothing I can do or say can change what happened. I just need to learn how to think. My parents aren't home yet. They went to a play. I'm cleaning my room, i've made good progress in my opinion. I feel so horrible. I betrayed their trust and now I feel like the worst daughter ever. I left daddy's cellphone and my car keys on the counter in case he wants to keep them since I've been a not-good girl. I wish I was perfect for them and then maybe they'd like me better. I love my mommy and daddy. I think that's them that my dog barked at. I think they're home now. This is it. He didn't sound mad on the phone when he called home. He was mad though, with good reason, when he called and I was at the mall and not at Katherine's. I'm so horrible. But I'm cleaning my room just for him and I did what he asked me to do and I even took all my clean laundry upstairs... I don't know. I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst. ----------------- 10:43 p.m. 3 weeks from tomorrow. a year is a long time. They say it will be fun. I'm crying. I didn't think I'd cry until it happened, but apparently my imagination is helping me see the day. god I have less than two weeks with Scott. Barely a week and a half. I can't believe this. My mommy came into my room and asked me if she could read this, but she can't it's my diary. People think it's strange that they let random strangers read their diary but their parents can't peek at all. To me, the strange thing is that parents barely know what's going on in their kids' lives at this age. They only get minimal details because suzan doesn't want mommy to know how many boys she's made out with this week. It's not even like my life is that secret to them. I just don't want them to know. I don't know...they'd pull me aside and give me a sex talk, probably, and say that high school relationships never work out and stuff. Things I already know. But they think I'm mature for my age. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. I love my mommy and daddy. I just don't want them to know my life. I don't want them to be my friends, I want them to be my parents. So my point is, it's not strange that you let random people you've never met and never will read your diary and not your parents. It's safer. Strangers can't ground you from the car or your friends. Parents can.