9:57 Saturday Night I don't think I realise ever what I'm getting into when I sign in and start writing. I don't know what my thoughts are and have no way of even beginning to round them all up into coherent order. I am hungry, and I have cramps. I have secret thoughts that amuse me and make me smile. The smile on my face makes the people around me wonder what I see. Wouldn't they be horrified if they knew. wouldn't you be horrified if you knew my thoughts and fantasies and wishes. Oh yes. you would. And because of that... you can never know.