9:56 Mid Monday Night (17 November 2008) The weeks are dripping through my fingers; I'm not sure whether I'm glad or alarmed. Am I any better for the time that has passed? Have I been utilizing my life well? Have I been learning anything? When he gets here, will I remember how to allow myself to be hugged? I have become uncomfortable with physical touching. I enjoy being around people, but I know the only person who ever hugs me anymore is Helena, the great feisty beauty. I feel like a digital switch, on or off. I'm either uncomfortable or I feel like I belong. I belong in the coffee shop, jamming out to the XO's Tam Tam; not at University Events run by the Student Government. I don't even feel like I am supposed to be at college, I often feel like someone's going to call me out, say "hey, you're not a student here! What are you doing hanging out at the hub? Get out!" And yet at other times I feel like yeah, whoa, i'm in college. Crazy. I remember highschool like it was yesterday, or i can barely remember ever going. memories are weird that way, the way they become warped and distorted over even a slight amount of passing time.