Monday, 2:02 a.m.   Plastic Sometimes everything feels fake to the touch. But that may just be because my fingers are so cold that they can't touch and feel. Just a slight pressure sensation, but it all feels like plastic and I'm touching plastic and I wish it would turn real. Actually everything I'm touching right now IS plastic. It would be superb if a cat came into my room and meowed at me, then I would pick him or her up and pet her and maybe things would start to be real again. This fake feeling really gets to me. Let's grow gills and fins and wear sea shell bras and flip our fins and listen to red crabs sing reggae to us about how under the sea is better than the land while we go to secret grottos and sing about the world up above, where fire burns and we wanna see them dancing, walking around on those feet. I really want to watch The Little Mermaid. I've had that one song stuck in my head for the longest time now. It's such a pretty song though. Mmm look at this place, isn't it neat? I wish I was her, skinny with boobs and purple seashell bra and pretty red hair. And my best friend would be a flat fish. How cool would that be? wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Plus her daddy's like a king..that's a plus. And that secret grotto thing with all the treasures from sunken ships. Totally r0xx0rz. wouldn't you think I'm the girl... The girl who has everything Who doesn't want Sebastian the crab who cares about her even though he pretends not to? He does anyway, and he sings her reggae songs about how much better life under water is. look at this cove, treasures untold... How many wonders can one cavern hold? And then there's the cool know-nothing seagull who can't sing. Seagulls. Rats of the sea. Yay scully! That fork? yeah, it's a comb. Looking around here, you think, "Sure. She's got everything!" Being Ariel would rock my socks. And I'd rescue some handsome prince from drowning and sing him my special little song with my pretty little voice and then go away before he wakes up and then he tries to find me.. I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I've got whosits and whatsits galore. It's all so romantic, don't you think? And going to a wicked witch to try and find him, because it's true love and I can turn human if we just kiss the kiss of love! You want thing-a-ma-bobs? I got twenty. But here the Disney version strays from the original. Do I end up with the handsome prince or are all my dreams foiled? But who cares? No big deal. I want more! In the original, walking is like stepping on a thousand knives and it's like my feet are hurting and I would do this for the rest of my life because if I can get that one handsome stranger to kiss me the kiss of love than maybe.... I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see...wanna see 'em dancing... the disney version was made a lot more child friendly. In the original the wicked witch still takes her voice and seduces the handsome prince away from the beautiful Ariel... Walking around on, what's that word again? oh! feet! She could get her life back and turn into a mermaid and live the rest of her days in the sea with her family and probably find a handsome merman to marry, if only she kills both the prince and the wicked witch... Flipping your fins you don't get too far. Legs are required for jumping, dancing... But she can't bear the idea of killing her beloved stranger whom she rescued from the sea who lives in the beautiful strange place above the water, so she doesn't. She just cries all night long that third day. Strolling along down-up, what's that word again, streeet... In the morning of the fourth day, she has no life left. She was alotted three days to win the prince and her voice back, she refused to kill them though when that didn't work out so she turned into sea foam. Up where they walk, Up where they run, Up where they stay all day in the sun... It's so sad. And romantic. But mostly sad. How could you fall in love with a stranger? Why would you want to live above the sea? Why would you give it all up just to find the man you loved in bed with another woman who had your voice? Out of the sea...Wish I could be...Part of that world. Now that I think of it, maybe my life is better just the way it is. Being a beautiful mermaid might be nice but maybe being human isn't so bad after all. Maybe everything's plastic so that I appreciate the real better. ----------------- 2:47 a.m. How sad: I wrote a long entry about the plot of the little mermaid. Oh well. I like that story. For some reason. You know I would give anything to make that emoticon kiss a real one and that emoticon hug a real one and that we werent in different rooms in different places and that we could sleep side by side and I wouldn't even mind the morning breath. And you know that. ----------------- 2:51 p.m. God and I feel so icky. I don't know why. This is the rambling of a lost and lonely little emo girl. I wonder if I'm pmsing. Music hurts my head today. This song reminds me of scott and now I want him really bad. more than usual. scary. Things I Want: Scott Security To Cry A Friend Silence Motivation Inspiration Paint To Scream To Break Down To Talk Anything But This ----------------- 2:58 p.m. To Cry Got that one now.