2:59 Mid Saturday Afternoon I learned some things i didn't want to know the other day. I wish I could unlearn. Sometimes I feel different and sometimes I feel just like everyone else and frankly i prefer it when i feel different. Tonight is the big halloween party at the university. It is state renowned, but the coordinators this year want to move away from the risque-ness for which the party was known and make it bigger and more friendly for people who are uncomfortable with "revealing" costumes. They say "We will be enforcing our new no-revealing-costumes rule" I say screw them, i'm going to wear what i'd originally planned to wear, regardless of how risque they think it is. It probably and hopefully won't be a problem because i have been excited about this for way too long. Caleb saw my costume and he would rather me wear it in his bedroom rather than at the party, but he is a boy, that sort of behaviour is expected. but i sure do wish we could be together for ever. that person who was invading my thoughts whose words were curling into my head and dropping seeds of doubt to grow into little plants of unsurity is not allowed to curl into my head ever since he round-upped all those little seedlings of insecurity which that person had planted. and I'm so glad those insecurity seedlings were driving me crazy and bad things were starting to happen.